sometimes parents take things for granted.
she too mistook her place.
she tend to forget that time is never static. that people have myriad tasks and commitments. she often lagged behind and wondered where she took the wrong turning.
more often than not she was left in disbelief.
guess she expected too much.
and love has always been her nemesis. elusive. hanging like gossamer on fragile twigs. curling tantalisingly in the cold night wind.
always a turning away...
always a smile too far...
but she deserved her just desserts.
so she looks towards other horizons. loneliness a loyal friend. the only friend she could depend on....
the starry night spreads such beautiful memories.... looking at orion's belt pointing to the Kaabah... she could smell again the cool mornings walking briskly from Safa to Marwah... the tawaf, the unquenchable longing.... and always that unnamed fragrance...mysterious....
alternately indulging in nostalgia and the present.
savoring a brave red hibiscus in the heat of a humid evening. touching a sparkling green leaf of a fragrant pandan plant. in awe at the splendor of the western skies at sunset while driving, the sky awash with shades of pink and grey. magical.
nevertheless she is glad she has given much love.
if not appreciated now, maybe it will be of help some time...
there never will be regrets... only thankfulness...
and prayers quiet and unending...
a parent's tears are like dewdrops on blades of grass...
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